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There are plenty of reasons why this man deserves to be on the list!

See them all here.

Can be found at http://thecuntlist.iamlanders.co.uk

Enjoy!

So he's speeding along the M1 on Christmas day of 2007 and he desperately needs to send a text, probably his stock broker ordering him to sell his shares in Woolworths, Zavvi and all the major banks. So he does.

Being a British Peer he's safe in the knowledge that should any of the police catch him (which would mean them doing something other than sitting on the hard shoulder pointing a hair dryer at passing cars) he'll get away with it as he's a Lord and entitled to certain rights and privileges. Speeding and using your mobile phone while driving being two of them.

What the cunt didn't realise is that seconds after sending the text (and trying to put his phone back in the in-car charging blue-tooth cradle that would come as standard with his jag and only be useful for talking not texting) he'd crash into the Audi of 28 year old Martyn Gombar. Killing him.

It's irrelevant that Mr. Gombar had already crashed into the central reservation as he was alive after this accident. He was alive because he and his passenger went to the hard shoulder but Mr. Gombar returned to his car to get his mobile phone. A stupid mistake yes but it shouldn't have cost him his life.

So Lord Cuntmed hits the Audi and kills Mr. Gombar.

Mr. Gombar was in the third lane and it was dark.

As Mr. Gombar managed to get across to his car from the hard-shoulder and it was dark and christmas day I can only imagine that the road was quiet. Why then did Lord Cunt have to be in the third lane?

Outrageous isn't it?! Lord Cunt was in the third lane! How dare he!

Obviously Judge Shitface thought the same when he sentenced Lord Wanker to twelve weeks in prison and a one year driving ban. Yes, for driving in the third lane and texting at some point and probably speeding he gets twelve weeks in prison and a one year driving ban. He'll only serve six weeks.

But... erm, didn't he kill someone?

Well yes he did but he'd finished his text at the time, the guy had crashed before hand so it doesn't matter.

Lord Ahmed you are a cunt and so is the judge that sentenced you and when I find out which one it was he'll be earning his place here as well! And maybe a strongly worded letter.

12 weeks for killing someone! Fucking disgusting! Fucking cunt!

The British justice systems needs a seriously overhaul and Lord Ahmed (the cunt) needs life imprisonment! Cunt!

Ladies and gentlemen I give you Cunt Number Four.

Brian Cowen

Current Taoiseach* of Ireland

Cunt

The evidence.

1. While Minister for Finance his 2007 was regarded as one of the biggest spending sprees in the history of the Republic of Ireland.

2. Like Gordon Brown in the UK Cowen became Taoiseach after the last one resigned. He was not elected into his position by his peers but by a group of assholes all equally qualified to be an entry on this blog.

3. In December 2008 he was ranked second last in a list of the best leaders in Europe.

4. When asking the public to vote yes in the referendum for the EU Lisbon Treaty and giving it is full support he slipped up and revealed he hadn't actually read it.

5. He cost the taxpayer €180 million by having all pork products withdrawn for five days when only a very small percentage were actually contaminated with dioxin.

6. He has said he'll run the country how he sees fit! Well, Biffo, what about how your constituents see it?

7. He is the highest paid political leader in the OECD countries.

8. His solution for getting Ireland out of the shit is to tax some of the public sector workers... but not those who run the government.

Yes... I noticed the spelling... I didn't do it... for once!

*Head of the Irish government - prime minister in other words.

David Hasselhoff.

Not just because of his ‘hit’ single “Jump in My Car”.

Not just because of the launch of his own MySpace type social networking site “HoffSpace”.

Not just because he got thrown out of a bar at The All England Club during Wimbledon for being pissed.

Not just because his own daughter filmed him lying pissed as shit on the floor of a hotel room trying to eat a cheeseburger and then circulated the footage to try and make him stop drinking.

Not just because of any other Hoff related cringe-cunt moments since 1976 to present day.

But because of his entrance on to The Brit Awards tonight:

“What’s happening England” – meaning “Hello, Good Evening,”

“I’m still The Hoff” - meaning god knows what.

And then… after stumbling through his autocue prompts, he announces the winner from the envelope. It’s the band Elbow.

So what does The Hoff do?

He moves his arm to show his Elbow, and says … “Elllllbbbbbooooooowwww”

Elbow’s lead singer says: “Are you coming for a drink with us Hoff?”

Hoff - you is a cunt.

Stuart Slann.

This ordinary 39 year old married bloke strikes up a romantic affair on Facebook and sends photos of himself licking a dildo to his e-love, Emma. STRIKE ONE

He drives all the way to Aberdeen from Sheffield to meet Emma for some dildo licking extra marital action. Only to get a phone call from two scouse pranksters who have set him up. There is no Emma. He's horny and humiliated and stuck in Aberdeen. STRIKE TWO

The audio of the phone call sweeps across the internet, his wife finds out and leaves him, and when asked by the press he says:

"If they had asked to drive to Manchester, Leeds or even Liverpool it wouldn't have been so bad and maybe I'd have seen the funny side. But to drag me all the way to Aberdeen was just cruel."

STRIKE THREE

Stuart Slann -- you is a CUNT

Yes ladies and gents, the person who has the honour of being the first cunt on the list is me! See Milly and Subbers, you were kinda right, you did say it was me afterall!

Do I deserve this honour? Well lets face it yes I do. I am a cunt.

Some people... not many... could come up with a list of reasons as to why I'm not a cunt and they'd all be good reasons but essentially, deep down, I'm a cunt.

I suppose the big difference between me and most of the other people who'll appear on this list is that I'm quite happy to admit that I'm a cunt. You won't see Not-Today-Tom or Gordon Brown admitting it will you? Of course now I've said that Not-Today-Tom will do it just to prove me wrong... see, just by saying that I'm showing you that I'm worthy of being on the cunt list!

Why can't I look the other way for once?

Disclaimer

The Cunt List is run by Landers (me) and is my opinion only! It should not be taken as the opinion of the blog server or anyone who comments. It's all about me! Me me me! If you're listed and you think you're not a cunt then convince me you're not otherwise shut the fuck up or fuck the fuck off cunt! If you'd like to complain why not tell me about it instead of moaning to the nice owners or writing your own blog entry. I mean come on, if you write your own entry about me and this blog you're not only confirming me being a cunt but kinda making yourself out to be one as well! Why not bring it on by emailing me at thegowllist (@) gmail.com. Oh... and gowl is Gaelic for cunt!

You just know who's gonna be first don't ya?!